No Lettuce, Extra Mayo, and a Side of WTF??

Hello all, thanks for taking time out of your day to read this. What you are about to read is a true story. I did not make this up, I swear I couldn't even if I tried. I don't even know where to begin because of how ridiculously funny (in a way) this is. Let it be known that I do not condone domestic violence in any way, shape, or form, nor do I condone violence against women (or men for that matter), but this story is so bizarre, I just had to share it with you all. Without further ado, here's today's news.

So a man in Iowa assaulted his wife...with a McChicken sandwich. I'll let that statement sink in for a while.

Yes, I kid you not, some guy in the middle of nowhere assaulted his pregnant missus with a McDonald's sandwich (as if fast food doesn't cause enough damage already). I can' even...I can't even! This is too funny, too bizarre. Okay, let me step back and lay it all down before I lose myself in my reaction to this.

I'll skip the juicy details and let you guys check it out for yourself, but the skinny is as follows: the man, Marvin Hill, claimed his lady woke him up in the middle of the night with a McChicken in her hand. Instead of a "thank you" and eating that baby up (although that should've been his wife's job, given her "bumpy" situation), the guy flips out and flings the burger towards his soul mate. Not only that, but he also picks up a bun and throws that just to make sure she learns her lesson. The wife, naturally, proceeds to go clean herself up in the restroom, but Hill decided he wasn't done with her and records her with his cell phone, which prompts her to knock it out of his hands. Hill was, of course, charged with domestic violence and is behind bars at the moment.

Reaction time...

I don't even know where to begin. Like...okay, so this is #OnlyInIowa right? Because how does something like that get punished? Yeah sure, it was a jerk move to throw the sandwich his PREGNANT wife went through the trouble of buying for him (I guess he was ticked that she didn't make it for him?). But nobody was seriously hurt; I mean it's not like the missus had any bloody bruises or an injury to her baby bump. True, some form of action should be taken against Hill, and I think the short jail time he faces should be quite enough. Maybe he was trying to enjoy his beauty sleep? I know I would be ticked if I was woken up in the middle of the night just for a sandwich, but then again I wouldn't fling the thing at the person who gave me it, no matter how terrible it is. I really don't know, just because of how bizarre this is. You think you've seen it all until you read stories like this. What's next? An angry mom throws her whopper at her kid? I've had shit ten times more dangerous thrown at me all my life by my mother. and look at me! You don't see me emotionally scarred for life or under the care of CPS. You don't see my mother behind bars for "child abuse." Yes I know that's a completely different scenario than an angry hubby throwing something at his pregnant missus, but they're not that different if you think about it. Again, I'm not saying it was right of him to do what he did, I'm just saying I think this isolated case should just be left alone and left to the couple to deal with on their own.

But then again, things like this happen #OnlyInIowa.

Well there's my story for today peeps, thanks again for reading. As always stay up to date, share this story with your friends if you found it entertaining/mind-boggling, and stay safe! Bottom line kids, be careful when you eat fast food. It can cause some very bizarre effects in your body, and I'm not just talking about your stomach. Have a good one :)

I close this post with a favorite song of mine from a now-dead musical duo. Enjoy.